Lockdown

I need to put this journal into lockdown. People are reading things into it that I never intended, which is the nature of the beast, I guess, but it's a problem. Not to mention that people seem to also use it as an early warning system about what they think I'm thinking (or might do), and they're WRONG in most cases. I do know that the added stress could help contribute to a relapse of my symptoms.

I intended to put this journal into lockdown before I started the job, and got through a third of it. Then I got involved in activities for the reconstruction work, and planned to finish locking down the journal after the fact. Then I made the same mistake that I've made before of wondering that if I have an audience, what can I teach or share with it? I should give up on that; it's not my responsibility. I don't know if I'll continue the psychosis entries before I lock it down or not. There's a spiteful part of me that wants to leave the whole thing hanging.

I really want to work from home full time and be a voice on the phone. So many non-issues would be a lot simpler if I wasn't physically present. I suppose I could ask (or at least increase the number of days that I work from home) after my condo reconstruction is finished. At the rate that I'm going, I'll need to wrap up my obligations and leave. My health is more important than the job, which is what I've been maintaining all long. However, I don't have the foggiest clue what to do next.

I won't have time to finish putting the journal into lockdown before the weekend.

What does this remind you of?

Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina claimed victory in Tuesday’s shareholder vote on the company’s proposed $21 billion acquisition of Compaq Computer Corp. But dissident director Walter Hewlett, who opposed the merger, did not concede defeat. That means the official results in one of corporate America’s nastiest and highest profile proxy fights will likely have to wait for a hand count by an independent Delaware firm -- a process that’s expected to take several weeks. Read the full story.

I'm sorry, but I had to laugh. Who would've thought that the Valley's biggest soap opera would involve...HP??

And given the election parallel, I really don't want to know what happens next.