Impass

Well, I have more empirical proof of the tradeoff with the Risperdal. During the weekend, I took a drug holiday, and I felt better physically, but definitely felt muzzy-headed. Sunday night, I took the normal dose that I've been taking (.5 MG), and woke up in the middle of the night in pain (toothache). However, Monday afternoon, I felt very clear-headed, surprisingly so given the limited sleep. (And the .75 dose leaves me quite clear, and also in a lot of pain.) It's a little like the story "Flowers for Algernon," although not as extreme. Creepy.

It's probably time to call the doctor. However, I don't know what we'll do given that we've already ruled out most alternatives. Possibly use Zyprexa of weight-gain fame. If I gain weight though, it will make my arthritis even worse. Circles, circles, circles...This sucks. I keep wishing for someone or something to tell me that I can give up, or at least rest, but I guess the answer is not yet.

I tried to break the impass with Harlee by putting a t-shirt of mine under her food (to associate my scent with food), and now she won't eat again. However, she seems to be okay because she let out an incredibly loud meow at Random. Quite a noise for a little cat. She also might be playing with some toys when I'm not around.

My ISP got back to me about my forged e-mail, and told me not to worry.