Blah

I was in bed last night when I realized that I didn't take my nighttime meds. I didn't feel like getting up, so I just went to sleep. Big mistake. Even though I took my morning dose of my antidepressant, I felt on the verge of tears all day long. (The gray sky didn't help.) Snuggling with the cats helps, but I'm planning to just go to bed soon and not try to accomplish anything.

I'm also getting annoyed with my self for counting the days until the weekend. I genuinely do enjoy my job, so I don't know why I feel that way. I have to remember that my illness screws with my motivation too. I'm going to have to do some work for a class for work this weekend because I just wasn't "with it" tonight.

It's not helping me be patient with Mimi either. Mimi and Zara get along fine when I'm gone because they stay in separate rooms, but get into squabbles when I'm around because they both want to hang out with me. (I suppose that I should be flattered, but I'm feeling too blah.) I've gotten annoyed and yelled at Mimi when she chases Zara. (I keep forgetting to bring the squirt bottle around with me.)

I was excited the day before yesterday about a new direct sales company, Trades of Hope, which is a fair trade company that works with women artisans in various places in the world to lift them out of poverty. And I love most of what they sell. I even thought about getting my ears pierced again (I let them close up because one of my ears was tearing) because I love a lot of their earrings. So that will be my replacement for Monat. I need to save up money though to join. The important thing is to have joined by the fall to sell gifts for the holiday shopping season. Actually, even writing about it has lifted my mood a bit. I need to come up with a plan for how I will sell it.

Writing all this out has helped also. But I think that I need to crash, and, I hope, be in a better mood tomorrow.