Lockdown

[days_unfolding]

I need to put this journal into lockdown. People are reading things into it that I never intended, which is the nature of the beast, I guess, but it's a problem. Not to mention that people seem to also use it as an early warning system about what they think I'm thinking (or might do), and they're WRONG in most cases. I do know that the added stress could help contribute to a relapse of my symptoms.

I intended to put this journal into lockdown before I started the job, and got through a third of it. Then I got involved in activities for the reconstruction work, and planned to finish locking down the journal after the fact. Then I made the same mistake that I've made before of wondering that if I have an audience, what can I teach or share with it? I should give up on that; it's not my responsibility. I don't know if I'll continue the psychosis entries before I lock it down or not. There's a spiteful part of me that wants to leave the whole thing hanging.

I really want to work from home full time and be a voice on the phone. So many non-issues would be a lot simpler if I wasn't physically present. I suppose I could ask (or at least increase the number of days that I work from home) after my condo reconstruction is finished. At the rate that I'm going, I'll need to wrap up my obligations and leave. My health is more important than the job, which is what I've been maintaining all long. However, I don't have the foggiest clue what to do next.

I won't have time to finish putting the journal into lockdown before the weekend.

Comments

Re:

[bandicoot.livejournal.com]

Good ;)