Notes to the girls

Cross-posted from a thread titled "Things that you shouldn't have to tell your cat" on cat_lovers.

Dear Harlee,

I can hear you meowing from the other room. You don't need to come into the kitchen, where Mommy is, and meow louder (because Mommy obviously can't hear me because she's still eating her breakfast and not petting me). I heard you the first time. I want to finish my breakfast before it gets cold. Bad Mommy.

We've been living with Grandma for three-and-a-half years now. I'd think that you would have figured out by now that Grandma doesn't eat cats. SHE DOESN'T EAT CATS. It's very brave of you to sit on the same couch with her. I'd think that you'd let her pet you by now, but okay, maybe not -;)

Why do you lie on my arm? I wouldn't think that's very comfortable. Other cats lie in people's laps, which is more comfortable for them and for the cat.

You're the biggest joy in my life. Sitting with you, petting you, and listening to you purr always calms me down and relaxes me (and you too, apparently). But I do have to do some other things if we want to eat.

Love, Mommy

Dear Zara,

Thanks for eating the "happy pills" that Mommy so cleverly hid in your food. Oops, did I say that? I mean thanks for gobbling up the tasty treat that Mommy makes for you twice a day. When you eat it, we're all happier.

It's not too smart for a grey cat to lie in a dark corner of the hall right in front of the bathroom at night. Just saying.

I love when you curl up on my bed and sleep with me. Sorry about the loud beeping and ringing noises that happen in the morning. They're called "alarm clocks," and Mommy is a very deep sleeper and needs lots of them to wake her up to get to work. Also, thanks for not waking me up when you crawl into bed with me. Although maybe that's an example of how deeply Mommy sleeps; you have no qualms about climbing over me when I'm awake.

Thank you for amusing yourself by playing with your feather toy by yourself. Mommy has to do other things sometimes besides play with you if we want to eat.

You're a real cutie.

Love, Mommy