Wednesday

Woke up at 7. Did my usual morning routine, and now I'm waiting for my Walmart order. Well, this was a first. They tried to give me someone else's order. She had my order in the car and swapped the orders.

Tried to take a nap, but got woken up by the hospital, which just found Mom's cell phone. I'll see if Deanna and Ken can pick it up. Otherwise, I'll pick it up on Friday when I'm out for the visitation.

My professors offered me an extension on my paper, and I decided to take it.

Napped. I broke a bowl that I use to make soup, so I need to get to Meijer and get another one. Had lunch. I can't believe it; I want another nap, but I'll put my clothes in the bathroom first.

I've been thinking about my mom's memorial service while I've been doing other stuff. I want to read 1 Corinthians 13, which might be unusual for a funeral, but my mom had a lot of love for a lot of people. And I want "Morning Has Broken" as a hymn and possibly "Make Me a Channel of Your Peace". My mom wanted her priest friend Bob to do a service for her, so I need to talk to him. Right now, I have the memorial service set at the funeral home, but I need to talk to Mom's church. And I want to ask Lotus and Kate if they would give eulogies. It's weird, but I don't know what my mom's favorite flower is. Okay, I found some flowers that I like. Bright flowers only!

In Lincoln now and had dinner. I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to be able to do the rest of the cleaning; I'm just getting my cleaning stuff and miscellaneous items out. I was having a problem getting moving, but that jump-started me. I'm boiling hot so I'm trying to cool off.

I've decided to sleep here and finish up in the morning. My neighbors would probably prefer that I not be banging around late at night. I couldn't sleep, so I got up and continued working. Now I think that I can sleep. I haven't been sleeping well, so I'm trying to move my mom's visitation to Monday. Okay, yay, it's moved. I've got the car loaded up. I'm going to try to take a nap before I drive back. Can't sleep. My mind keeps churning.

I'm back. The cats are not happy with me. I plan to feed the cats, eat breakfast, and nap in my own bed, which I hope should go better. I'm going to go back tonight and continue cleaning.

Sleepless Day After Sleepless Night

The death certificate said that Mom died of respiratory failure, COVID, and lung cancer. I'm shocked. I thought that it was renal failure. And I didn't know that her lung cancer came back! She had surgery to remove it last year (I think). And I didn't know that COVID played a part in her death. I don't know if it makes a difference though; Mom wouldn't have wanted to be on a respirator. The death certificate is making Mom's death real. I'm doing the visitation, although I think that they're kind of ghoulish, so that I'll believe that she's really dead. It's kind of theoretical to me now.

I've been sending emails back and forth with my dad about my plans for Mom. I mentioned that she mentioned a green burial right before she died, but green cemeteries are hard to find. Dad suggested having memorial trees planted in Mom's honor, which is a great idea. I also was looking for something people could contribute to in lieu of flowers, and that would work.

I still can't sleep, so I got up and emptied the car. I figured out how to put the seats down, which is good because I want to strap the cats' carriers in. Now if I can only figure out how to get the trunk open from the outside. I was wondering if I got a valet set of keys that won't open the trunk, but that's kind of silly because you can get to the trunk by flipping the seats down. I pulled out the car manual and will have a look at it. Now I'm going to eat and then work on tidying up the place and packing until I collapse.

I found the email address of Mom's priest friend, so I sent him an email. Her church had information about funeral services, and most of the things that I wanted to include could not be included. The Mass follows a strict formula. So I'd need to have a Celebration of Life before or after the Mass.

Awww. Zara didn't like me being gone last night, and she is curled up asleep right next to my desk. She looks like a little angel, for the moment anyway!

I did get some cleaning (here in Urbana before I leave) done. Now I'm starting to fade. I should be able to get a good night's sleep and still get up early.