Sick Day

May. 10th, 2024 08:50 pm
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I told my professor that I was sick and I’m going back to bed for a while. Mimi thinks that I skipped work to pet her. It’s all about Me! Me! Me! Mimi! No, she wants me to go upstairs and work so that she can sit on my lap. No, she wanted more food. I gave her some dry food. (The vet said that it was okay to give her a little more food.) So I’m teaching her to meow at me. Zara gave me a little kiss (and you earn it with her). Aww.

My mom’s annoying ex-friend Deanna now wants to take clippings of the plants. I’m fuming, so I’m wondering if I should get up. I emailed her telling her that I didn't want her to take clippings of the plants.

I did some homework, but now I'm having a stabbing pain in my side, so I'm going to take some acetaminophen and lie down.

Mimi got some small green stars stuck on her butt. What a goof :)

I napped and got up and worked on my program some. But I need to go back to sleep now. I wrote my professor and said that I won't be handing in the assignment tonight.

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I got a good grade on my project design too. I'm going to be a little annoyed if I get kicked out, but oh well.

I couldn’t find Mimi anywhere yesterday night and was calling her, but she reappeared this morning when I added food to the equation. She has her priorities.

Deanna (my mom’s annoying ex-friend) wants to see Mom’s house before she’ll sign a document enabling the trust to process the will. Don’t ask me why she wants to see the house.

I thought that I heard Zara hissing when I came in the bedroom. She doesn’t want to go back to the vet! No, here she is! She was being cuddly.

We ran through our presentation before class and cut a few things. I think that it will go okay. It did.

It's a good day for mowing, but I'm really tired, so I'm going to take a nap during dinner. I really zonked out. Got the garbage out.

Mimi: Food, food! Right now! Etc.
Me: Mimi, what's that in your dish?
She looks and starts eating. Cats!

I'm getting pretty good at turning off lights, etc., but I forgot to turn off my fan when I went to take a nap. Oops.

I need to go charge the extra batteries for my mower.

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Woke up with my alarm at 8 AM. Did my usual morning routine and took a nap after breakfast. (That's my weekend treat.) Got up, did some fruitless searching for the key to Deanna's house but found some spare house keys, restarted clothes in the dryer to dewrinkle my blazer, and went through the bag of my mom's clothes to pull out stuff that wasn't clothes. Called about Zara's prescription.

Mom has some really nice large ceramic pots that I'd like to take, but I'm not sure how to pack them. I could turn one of them into a fountain, which would be a cheap way to get a fountain.

Oh drat. I did the time change wrong and I'm not going to make it to the YMCA. (My watch is on Central Time and my phone is on Eastern. Okay, I changed that.) I could go tomorrow after Italian.

I'm now adorned with cheap jewelry, plus one of my mom's necklaces. She liked spirals and labyrinths, and I'm taking her necklaces with one on them. One of the new bracelets won't fit me though. I love the one that I'm wearing though. It has gold, copper, and steel stripes in a slanted pattern.

Nice day for a drive. Dropped the clothes off at the resale shop. They made it sound like my donation was the greatest thing. I told them that there will be more. Picked up Zara's meds.

The drought is doing nasty things to the lawn and garden. I'm going to get the automatic sprinklers fixed, but meanwhile, I need a manual one. I ordered one from Meijer for pickup tomorrow. Oh yay, it's going to rain tomorrow.

The pond is growing algae. Ugh. I need to get the skimmer out and a bag for it.

Had my voice lesson. It went well. Now I'm working on "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac.

Watched an air crash video, and I think that I'm going to bed.

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I called the doctor's office and they said that they would contact the doctor for refills. I hope that there are no complications.

The lawn guys are here. They seem to be doing a good job.

The doctor sent in the prescriptions. Yay. Actually, they sent one prescription, which I picked up, so I'll need to call about the other two soon.

The flowers for Mom's funeral are here. They look pretty. I wanted colorful flowers as a celebration.

I told Deanna that I wanted the key to my mom's house back. Silence from her.

I really love the new swimsuit that I got from TomboyX. It has jellyfish on it. I'm going to bring it to the hotel on the beach next week.

Oh, bother, I don't have sandals. I just bought some beachy loafers on Amazon with a pattern of holes in the fabric. They'll get here on Sunday.

I'm ready for the funeral tomorrow. I made a checklist of things to bring tomorrow. I laid out my clothes and the new blow dryer diffuser and curling iron. I even cleaned up the kitchen a little. Now I need to get some sleep because tomorrow is going to be a long day.

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I remembered that I had a photo of Mom on Facebook. I tried to print it on Walgreens Photo site, but it said that it was too low resolution. I found software that used AI to increase the resolution of photos. It changed the colors slightly, but it looked pretty good. So I ordered a matted and framed print of it to pick up same-day.

Apparently people are being asses over Target selling Pride merchandise, so I bought a Pride t-shirt. I like it; it's a rainbow-colored heart.

Well, the catalytic converter on my car was not stolen! I took the car into the collision repair place today, and they said that it looked fine with just some rust. I don't know cars! I made an appointment at the dealer to have it looked at because it's running really rough.

My musician classmate is encouraging me to buy the piano. He thinks that I should go for a private sale though, but I haven't seen anything that I like on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace.

I asked Kate if she wanted something of my mom's as a memento, and I picked out a beautiful scarf that she thought was perfect. I want to give Lotus and Barb something too, but there's less rush because they're in the area. (Kate is flying in from Vancouver.)

I got in touch with the lawn guy, and he said that he'd try to make it over here tomorrow. The grass is looking like a meadow.

I started my eight-week meditation class tonight. I was kind of resenting the timing, but it does seem like a good class. We have exercises to do at home.

I am so screwed. Apparently there were no refills left on my meds, and I'm out of one of my meds.Walgreens usually reminds me when there are no refills, but they didn't this time. I have to call the doctor first thing in the morning and beg for refills. Right before my mom's funeral is not the time to run out. I hope that I'll be able to sleep tonight because the meds usually knock me out.

I picked up the picture of Mom and it looks good.

Deanna kept on "reminding" me to bring the ashes to the funeral, and I finally blasted her. She seems to think that she's the only person who is competent. Like I'd forget to bring the ashes to my mom's funeral! I told her that I'd find another pet sitter for next week, and I found someone who is coming on Sunday for a "Meet and Greet".

Anyway, I need to crash so that I can call the doctor first thing tomorrow morning. I also need to do dishes in the morning.

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I misread the Betty Brigade contract. They want $27000 with a down payment of $18000. That's crazy.

I was working with IT for a long time at work only to find that it was a problem with the file that I was trying to change. At least, I can work now.

Deanna is making me crazy. She wants me to rearrange stuff in order for her to take care of the cats while I'm at the hotel in New Buffalo next week. So okay, I'll do anything to get out of here next week. But then she wants to give away some of my mom's stuff at the funeral. I said, "No" and that the funeral was set already. And she said that the church would like a picture of Mom for the funeral. I asked for help sorting photographs weeks ago for that exact reason, and she said "No". So, no picture. And this pretty well decides that I can't keep the house. Deanna would probably tell me how to redecorate it or, more likely, not to redecorate it. And she would say that there is no rush on cleaning out the house if I'm going to live here, nevermind that I'd need to move my stuff in.

I'm strongly considering getting an acoustic piano (I have a digital one) wherever I live though. I saw a used one up here that I like the looks of (though I haven't heard it yet), but it probably would cost a fortune to move it to Urbana. I suppose that I can wait to get one. I'm just itching to play.

I had to submit two delivery orders to Kroger because for some reason, the stuff that I added to the first order vanished into the ether. I got my Factor meals for this week. so yay. More good meals.

Napped after work and overslept with a weird dream sparked by the new movie about Henry VIII. I kind of want to see that.

I need to get up early to move the cars so that I can bring the Kia to have an estimate to get the catalytic converter fixed, finally.

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Well, here's a new wrinkle in the "where should I live" question: I just got one of the best haircuts that I've had in my life. The stylist asked lots of questions and gave me what I wanted. And the stylists give you a shoulder and hand massage as well. I'm feeling so relaxed. I just bought a new hair dryer with a diffuser that is supposed to decrease frizz. And I bought the product that my stylist used. I also asked her if I could have highlights if I swim, and she said that they would have to be redone more often (monthly). Hmm. They also have facials and a brow treatment that tames unruly hairs, which is what I need. I might get a deep conditioning treatment for my hair the next time that I'm there.

There also is free Tai Chi in a local park. Urbana does have a lot of amenities.

Had a nice nap over lunch.

I booked the hotel/spa place near Lake Michigan for a room and a massage, facial, and body scrub. I hope that Deanna will watch the cats.

All the tension of the last few months seemed to hit me all at once, and all my muscles were aching pretty badly. So I booked a massage for tomorrow morning also. Two massages in two weeks is pretty decadent, but I think that I need it.

I ran some errands and went and had a beer with some of my classmates. It was fun. Urbana has a nice beer garden too, but it was hard to find my way back. The 1/3 of a beer that I drank seemed to relax me some.

Now I'm thinking of going to sleep early. My massage is at 10 AM tomorrow. My therapy session is at 1 PM.

Oh, and Road Scholar said that I can book the tour now and the airfare for the Italy trip later as long as it's by December. I should know where I've decided to live by then.

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I ordered a TRTL neck pillow for travel. I hope that it's as good as its reviews say.

Ugh. Gardener guy hasn't showed up yet. Mower guy, on the other hand, is coming early. He discussed the branches with me and said that he would bag them up and set them out for pickup. And he did.

Ack! Mom's bank questioned one of my transactions and wound up canceling Mom's debit card. They are sending me one of my own by expedited shipping. Meanwhile, I guess that I'm playing for the mower guy and gardener guy out of pocket. That'll teach me to buy something on Facebook (a sustainable automatic toothbrush).

My grieving seems to be expressing itself as exhaustion. So. Freaking. Tired. I had planned on going to Hawaii for some R&R after I put the house up for sale, but now I'm wondering if I'll need a break in the middle. Maybe I should just pick a date and go then no matter where I am in the process of settling the estate. The week of July 4th is cheaper for airfare.

Deanna is trying to convince me that I don't want to hire help in cleaning out the house. Le sigh. Apparently my staying here forever is better.

The pond guy came by with one of his workers. They're planning to have the pond up and running tomorrow. So yay. He's wondering if the gutter guy will say that the gutters need to be replaced though. Some of them are coming off. And he said that the roofer guy will say that the ivy needs to come off the roof of the house.

We were talking about Dim Sum in my Cantonese class, and I decided to get some. Wow, was it good (although I noticed that they forgot the garlic-and-chive pancakes that I ordered). I probably could get some good Dim Sum in San Francisco.

Took a nap and slept until 1AM. And I need to get the garbage out. And Zara wants food; she is sitting on the kitchen table right in front of me to make sure that I don't miss her!

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I spent some time thinking about a plan of attack on the house. I decided that instead of tackling the garage, I'll work on the kitchen and dining room and clear off the tables. That will give me more room to maneuver. Deanna found more mail in mom's stuff from the nursing home and hospital, so I need to go through that stuff. And that means that I can stay in my pajamas.

I had some "me" time on Friday night and it helped. I need time to relax and think.

I decided to try the Factor prepared meals plan. It's kind of pricey, but boy, am I going to eat well. I asked for calorie-conscious meals but also their chef's choice meals. I have one meal of filet mignon, one of mahi mahi, and a couple with salmon (and some chicken and pasta meals). I am going to eat well! I'll have to remember to skip the following week because I'll be gone for my onsite meeting for work in Illinois. Speaking of which, Deanna said that she would take care of the cats. Zara was brave and said hello to her. Mimi hid.

I think that part of the reason that the cats like the house is that each of them can have their own space. The back bedroom is Zara's.

There's a table in front of the window in the dining room, and Mimi likes it. There are birds and squirrels outside. Kitty TV.

Hmm, I just realized that the pond guy never called me back. I'll have to track him down. He texted me when I was taking my nap, saying that he missed the email and that he's in the area. I texted him back when I got up, but he might be gone now.

I read an op-ed in the Washington Post by someone who is dying of a lung disease. He said, "There's nothing wrong with dying. All the best people have done it." Just so.

I just added Freecycle where my mom's house is because I might want to give away some stuff. And I found a place that refurbishes hearing aids and gives them to people in need. Mom had some really expensive ones, so I'm glad that someone will be able to use them. Hmm, I need to pick up some bubble mailers.

I submitted a Kroger order and forgot the bubble mailers. I guess that I'll go to Meijer tomorrow and get some. Paid my bills. Got my Kroger order. I'm assuming that the pond guy isn't coming by tonight. Discovered that my mom's other life insurance policy is so old that it still has my dad as beneficiary. Emailed him to ask him what he wants me to do. Took a nap.

I was tickled by the Washington Post's description of the UK's King Charles' coronation: "There will be a lot of bling." Indeed.

I might have found someone to mow the lawn. He said to give him a call and he'll come over. I need to get some cash.

I started looking at the information Deanna got from St. Regis church about the choices for the Funeral Mass. It's hard to decide because that isn't my belief system.

I'm going to go to bed. A TaskRabbit guy is scheduled to clean out the garden beds tomorrow, and I need to make sure that Mom has waste bags for it. I might need to run to Meijer before Italian.

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Mimi wants something, but I don't know what. I gave her some dry food, but that wasn't it (but she'll eat it anyway). Does she want me to go back to sleep? Good luck with that, Mimi.

Went through Mom's messages on her answering machine and deleted some of them so that people can leave messages.

I'm looking at the more expensive trips that I want to take while I'm still working. I was looking at a tour of China that includes a Yangtze river cruise (on my "bucket list"). Hmm, it looks like a lot of companies are pulling out of China though. Road Scholar has some cool trips to China though, including one that includes Tibet. And it has a great cruise of Australia and New Zealand. Now I know what I need to save up for.

Well, I'm going to inherit enough money from Mom to retire. It's not just my perception; I told my dad about it, and he said, "Are you going to retire or keep on working?" I still want to work until I get vested for my pension. If nothing else, it would pay for some really nice trips. And if I get vested, the uni will pay for a Medicare Advantage health insurance policy when I retire. The uni has some nice benefits.

Now that I need a will, I'm looking at charities to include in my will. Right now, I'm looking at a three-way split between The Nature Conservancy (climate change), the Human Rights Campaign (LGBTQ+ issues), and the Coalition for the Homeless. I'm also doing research for hiring an executor for my will. And I plan to buy a cemetery plot for me and the cats in the not-too-distant future. Basically, I want to make it simple to "close me out," unlike what I'm dealing with with my mom. And I'm buying a printable binder for information about my bank accounts, insurance, final wishes, etc.

The people managing my mom's money made a case for continuing to manage the money (of course). I did like them. My dad is going to do research on them and give me his advice.

Got the garbage out. (Zen saying: "After ecstasy, the laundry.") Oh, and I found a statement from Mom's mortgage company (she refinanced), and we missed a payment, so I need to get that taken care of. I see why my dad keeps saying to hire help. I have my hands full getting the finances straightened out and coordinating things.

I need to email Deanna about the trust, but I'm too tired to do it now. I think that I'll wait on the mortgage payment until tomorrow too. I need to throw myself together by lunchtime to run out and get the death certificates and bring them to the financial planner.

It's weird knowing that I could retire at any time after the estate is settled. I'm also going to get money from the sale of my aunt's house. It feels like it's raining money.

Wednesday

Apr. 13th, 2023 11:06 am
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Woke up at 7. Did my usual morning routine, and now I'm waiting for my Walmart order. Well, this was a first. They tried to give me someone else's order. She had my order in the car and swapped the orders.

Tried to take a nap, but got woken up by the hospital, which just found Mom's cell phone. I'll see if Deanna and Ken can pick it up. Otherwise, I'll pick it up on Friday when I'm out for the visitation.

My professors offered me an extension on my paper, and I decided to take it.

Napped. I broke a bowl that I use to make soup, so I need to get to Meijer and get another one. Had lunch. I can't believe it; I want another nap, but I'll put my clothes in the bathroom first.

I've been thinking about my mom's memorial service while I've been doing other stuff. I want to read 1 Corinthians 13, which might be unusual for a funeral, but my mom had a lot of love for a lot of people. And I want "Morning Has Broken" as a hymn and possibly "Make Me a Channel of Your Peace". My mom wanted her priest friend Bob to do a service for her, so I need to talk to him. Right now, I have the memorial service set at the funeral home, but I need to talk to Mom's church. And I want to ask Lotus and Kate if they would give eulogies. It's weird, but I don't know what my mom's favorite flower is. Okay, I found some flowers that I like. Bright flowers only!

In Lincoln now and had dinner. I came to the conclusion that I'm not going to be able to do the rest of the cleaning; I'm just getting my cleaning stuff and miscellaneous items out. I was having a problem getting moving, but that jump-started me. I'm boiling hot so I'm trying to cool off.

I've decided to sleep here and finish up in the morning. My neighbors would probably prefer that I not be banging around late at night. I couldn't sleep, so I got up and continued working. Now I think that I can sleep. I haven't been sleeping well, so I'm trying to move my mom's visitation to Monday. Okay, yay, it's moved. I've got the car loaded up. I'm going to try to take a nap before I drive back. Can't sleep. My mind keeps churning.

I'm back. The cats are not happy with me. I plan to feed the cats, eat breakfast, and nap in my own bed, which I hope should go better. I'm going to go back tonight and continue cleaning.

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I did sleep, which is good. I think that I'll need it. No news on whether they admitted Mom to the hospital.

I finally called the rehab place, and they said that she didn't come back. I called the hospital, and they're going to admit her but are keeping her in the emergency room until they have a bed open up. She's on oxygen but no additional help breathing. They said to call back in a few hours to find out what room she is in. I did and got her room number. I figured that she didn't get much sleep because she spent the night in the emergency room, plus I was exhausted, so I didn't go to see her tonight. (They're allowing one visitor.) I need to go to Walgreens to pick up a prescription and N95 masks.

After I woke up, I looked for some boxes that her "friend" Deanna had been insistent that I find. I didn't find what she was looking for. Then I discovered that the reason that Mom has clothes dumped on the bed in the bedroom that she wants to put the cats in is because there is no place to put them in any of the closets. I need to figure out what to do with them.

I told Mom's friend Kate what was going on. She said OMG a couple of times.

I'm looking at Nextdoor so that I can find a neighbor kid to take the garbage to the curb and back if I am gone on garbage day.

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No one called me from the nursing home. I made up a test for my programming class. It was easier than expected.

Mom was in a worse mood today. She agreed, though, to have some of her stuff boxed up and put in storage. So I have a boatload of stuff to do this weekend, even with help. She said that the nursing home will contact me first if anything comes up. She's now thinking of adapting the front steps so that she can get up them. I need to make measurements of the current stairs to determine whether we could use the existing stairs or would need new ones. We would need to add railings for Mom to hold onto. I said that I wished that we had a contractor who adapts homes for older people, and she suggested asking the social worker for recommendations. That's a good idea.

That jerk Ken talked to Mom and blamed the fact that they no longer want to help on his wife, when he was the one who was complaining. Honestly, I think that the sooner that Mom is shut of them, the better.

Mom asked if I thought everything would be all right again. I said, "Everything: no, some things: yes."

Yay. My homework is due tomorrow instead of today. I reserved a storage space for Mom. I need to get TaskRabbit people, but I'm running out of steam. And I'm wondering if I should put stuff in plastic bins, which would protect the items (papers) better, but would run into $$$. Hmm. I'm eyeing see-through plastic tubs, which might reassure Mom that we could find her stuff. Home Depot has a bunch.

But I think that it's bedtime. Oh, note to self: rebook Amtrak!!!!

Monday

Mar. 7th, 2023 06:05 am
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The reason that no one is talking to me about Mom's health care is that they deemed Mom competent to handle her own health care and they're talking to her! I left a message for her doctor to call me, but I don't know if he will given that I'm not a primary contact for her health care.

There is some sort of caregiver training that I'm supposed to go to, but it hasn't been scheduled.

Mom was having a good night tonight. She sounded like her old self. She asked what Deanna and Ken wanted, and I told her that they no longer wanted to help her. Then I said, "Well, I don't know that they've completely ruled out helping her," and she said "But they don't want to be involved." I said, "Yes, exactly." Her reaction to Deanna and Ken no longer wanting to help her: "Fuck them." She wants to get help so that she can tell them to go to hell. She thinks that it's cheeky that Deanna still wants the stuff that Mom saved for her.

Mom said that she'd talk to the social worker about getting me involved in her health care.

I talked to her about tidying the place up a bit putting stuff in bins, and she said that she wouldn't be able to find things. But I got permission to clean up the stairs (yay!)

I received my bucket, scrub brush, and other cleaning supplies. The bathroom awaits. But I took a nap and slept through until morning. I'm still sleepy, so I might take another (short) nap and then do homework.

Sunday

Mar. 5th, 2023 08:49 pm
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My Italian teacher had to cancel. Oh well. So I went to see Mom. She slept most of the afternoon, which is good because she didn't sleep well last night. Some nurse was having her save her poop though, and the room reeked. I finally got someone to get a nurse to deal with it.

Then I had dinner with Mom's "friends" Ken and Deanna. They said that they didn't want to be the primary point of contact when Mom comes home. I was surprised that Ken was the most vocal about that. They also think that medical people will see the house and whisk Mom off to a nursing home because she can't take care of herself. I talked to Mom's friend Kate, and she suggested putting stuff in bins.

I'm tired. I put in an order for cleaning supplies from Meijer, but forgot to finalize it, so now it's coming tomorrow. At least then I can put my clothes in the dryer and go to sleep and get up early to study.

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