Ebb and flow

[days_unfolding]

A few weeks ago, my guitar playing smoothed out, and there were eerie passages during which my guitar playing and that of my teacher were completely in sync. Around the same time, I learned my last swimming stroke (backstroke), and my teacher said gleefully "You're turning into a natural swimmer!" So I basked in my accomplishment and figured that I'd make steady progress from here.

Uh, wrong. My playing and swimming promptly fell apart. Part of the reason my swimming fell apart is because I had a week during which I couldn't practice. My teacher chewed me out, and asked me to get more exercise than I've normally been getting (add a half-hour on the exercise bike) to build up my endurance. So I tried it. I completely wore myself out on the exercise bike, and started on the rowing machine thinking that I could never make it through 15 minutes. Then I got my second wind and it was easy. I finished everything (bike, rowing, Nautilus, and a half-hour of swimming). So I did learn something. On the other hand, people take more time to recover from exercise as they get older, and I don't think that my teacher realizes that. And I'm not on the swim team-;)

I don't know why my guitar playing fell apart. I've been practicing. Sometimes I seem to do worse when I practice.

I noticed the headlines about the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling supporting gay marriage. (I don't remember what day that was. All days are turning into one giant blur. I'm amazed that I noticed the headlines.) Interesting that the term "Boston marriage" probably will become literally true. Interesting too that the progress of gay civil liberties follows the same two steps forward, one step back as my guitar playing, although the news has mostly been positive of late.

I think that we give up any sort of linear progression when we leave school. I guess that you just have to have faith in the process.

I now have access to UNIX and Linux. A week ago, I asked Erik to look over my shoulder (in case something went wrong) while I partitioned the hard disk on my laptop and installed Linux. Something did go wrong; Windows stopped recognizing the mouse, but we discovered that if we completely shut down the machine after running Linux, and then restarted the machine under Windows, it would work. I have my UNIX machine up and running. My poor stressed laptop is also serving as a console for the machine, but it looks like I'll need an additional switch to join the two machines. The person from whom I bought the UNIX machine has been very helpful, but hasn't been answering his e-mail lately.

I also brought my guitar to Erik's and played for Erik (tripping over myself because of the audience, arrgh!) Erik's cat was very helpful:

We've shipped our major shipment for this release. However, things are already heating up for our next release plus an additional shipment at the end of the month. It looks like we aren't getting much of a break. I'm still hoping that I'll have time to work on the UNIX and Linux, but this weekend, I completely collapsed (9 hours of sleep on Friday plus two naps on Saturday and 8 hours of sleep on Saturday plus a nap today). I'm also hoping that we survive this next release. I'm so tired....

On Wednesday, someone on my friends list's cat died. When my Chaos died, I remember a few people on my friends list saying that they got really choked up remembering their cats that died. Something similar happened to me; I found myself crying over a cat whom I've never met and people whom I don't know IRL. But it encompassed more that that: it had to do with cats and people and the strong bond that can develop between them, and how amazing it is that we leave ourselves open to heartbreak like that, usually more than once.

Yet I'm well aware that had Chaos not died, I would never have gotten Harlee, who is my favorite of all the cats that I've had. And I wonder if the fact that I got her during the darkest time of my life makes her so special. That's one of the things that makes me aware that something else is always around the bend. I don't think that it makes any heartbreak easier to take; it just makes me more aware that this too shall pass.

Comments

[bandicoot.livejournal.com]

We all miss GM, and he'll always have a place in our hearts. He was a sweetie.

I'm glad Harlee has become your favorite, and I hope they're all getting along better now. Mine finally are, although there's still some swatting going on now and again. I have a picture of all three of them on my lap (and that's a lot of kitty pounds!) that I should post.

And don't worry about the guitar practice - I know that with a lot of things, I seem to be better after not practicing for awhile. It all ebbs and flows, and I've learned to not worry about it - just take it as I find it and work it from there. You'll have to make some little audio posts when you're ready to show your playing off ;)

[days-unfolding.livejournal.com]

Being sick seemed to at least partially knock a chip off of Random's shoulder, so I'm going to try getting him together with Nima again. Random and Harlee get along really well.

It'll be a while before I feel ready to make audio posts, but it's a neat idea.