days_unfolding

Well, the Effexor isn't making me as nauseous anymore. And I woke up after sleeping only 7.5 hours, which compared to my sleeping 12-14 hours previously, is a miracle. (However, Thursday night, I did one of those "fall asleep at 8:30 PM and get up the next morning" things, so I wasn't running a sleep deficit.) I still feel mostly like sitting around and doing nothing though.

Can't do it. I'm way behind on homework, and the end of the semester is rapidly approaching. I talked to my therapist about the fact that I haven't gotten anything done during the week, and she just said, "Well, do your homework on the weekend." She doesn't seem to grasp that I have more homework than weekend though. And I still haven't done my taxes. (I might file for an extension.)

My therapist seems to think that I'm really stressed out, and that's why I collapse when things go wrong. I think that she's wrong, though. I think that the problem is that I don't have a purpose and meaning in life. There have been times when I've been way more stressed out than I am now, but I still was able to deal with crises because I had a purpose in doing so. I investigated whether there are existential therapists in the area, and there are, but they're really expensive and don't take my insurance. Most don't do "sliding scale" prices either. I don't think that I can afford it. Too bad.

I was feeling pretty good last night, however. I went to WalMart to pick up groceries, and wound up "visiting" the plants in the garden center. They had some vegetable plants that I want to get (although I'm mostly planting seeds), but it's too early to put them outside. Early next week, they're predicting frost. Really. The last frost for this planting zone is supposed to be between March 15th and April 15th, so it's squeaking in under the wire. Hard to believe now because it's supposed to get up to 75 today. I really want to plant the berry plants and put them outside, but am waiting until we no longer get frost. They're hanging in, even thought they've been in the basement a lot. (I've put them outside today to get some sun.)

I did buy some posters last week out of desperation as a reminder that there are places that I want to see and things that I want to do in life. They've arrived, so I might go out and get cheap frames for them. (Eventually I'd like to get nice frames for them, but not right now.) I probably won't watch a movie this weekend, but Mad Men is starting up again tomorrow. That means that I need to set up the old TV in the bedroom because my new TV isn't picking up cable. (I haven't canceled cable yet.)