Diagnosis? Not.

[days_unfolding]

Thanks for wishing me luck. You're providing terrific support in a roller-coaster of a year. *Hugs* to you all. (And JD, an extra hug to you for calling me "an amazingly strong person". That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. You totally rock.)

I'm not sure what to think about the doctor's appointment.

He said that he couldn't definitively diagnose me with bipolar disorder because of my large caffeine and nicotine intake. Also, my life has been too volatile lately to tell what "normal" is for me: long hours at my previous job screwing up my sleep schedule, menopausal symptoms, the hormones that I took for a short while that I thought were depressing me, but maybe it was this disorder, etc. etc.

However, he did prescribe lithium as a mood stabilizer--and Risperdal for the disorganized thinking. I was prepared for him to prescribe an anti-psychotic medication, but still winced a little. I did convince him to prescribe the smallest theraputic dose because even Prozac lessened my symptoms somewhat, so they should be easy to knock out.

I'm a little dismayed at the lack of diagnosis though. I'd like to know why these symptoms are happening, and also have a peer group for support. It's probably fair enough to say that I have some flavor of bipolar disorder or unipolar depression with mild psychotic symptoms. To me, though, unipolar depression doesn't explain the racing thoughts, the spending sprees, etc.

Anyway, I took my first dose of Lithium last night. At first, I had some really bizarre effects from it: had labored breathing (known side effect), "saw" sounds as shapes for a while (I forget what that type of crossover is called--not a known side effect), and felt rather drunk. This morning, however, I feel pretty good. Woke up well to my alarm, without snapping awake as I did when severely manic and without the extreme grogginess that I get when taking sleeping pills. I'm a little sleepy, but I actually didn't get a lot of sleep because I couldn't sleep during the weird effects. Not groggy though. A slight tremor when I hold things, but it's very subtle. No nausea, although I haven't eaten yet. I'm really pleased.

The doctor told me to wait a couple of days to add Risperdal to the mix, so I'll start taking it on the weekend. I'm going to try to stop caffeine this weekend (it's recommended to avoid it with both Lithium and Risperdal), and see what happens.

Comments

[jdcatron.livejournal.com]

*hugback*

on the risperdal -- keeping in mind that I had a very bad experience with it and I was on insane doses (9mg/day) *and* I didn't need it, and thus I am biased -- I *strongly* suggest that you do some websearches and check out the known side effects -- including tardive dyskinesia, which a number of sources say it doesn't cause, but which it actually can cause. I'm not saying don't take it, but be aware and make your own informed decision. Please.

JD

[days-unfolding.livejournal.com]

Sorry--I didn't see this before. Yes, I did do a web search on both the Lithium and Risperdal. Both the doctor and pharmacist said that tardive dyskinesia generally happens when people take larger doses than I'm taking over a long period of time. Yes, I am concerned.

If I take it again (and I'm wondering if I will), I'd only take it for a short period of time while the lithium is working to reduce the mania and depression. Theoretically, as the lithium reduces the mood swings, the psychotic symptoms should go away too.

[jdcatron.livejournal.com]

oh, and the crossover is called synthesia (or I've also seen it referred to as synanthesia) -- I get it naturally, without drugs. So does my mother, oddly enough.

JD

[days-unfolding.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've heard that some people get the crossover naturally. Kind of interesting....