Depression

Mar. 31st, 2025 09:56 pm
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Overslept. I’m feeling kind of sad. Actually, I’m feeling massively depressed. I don’t know why. Mimi? (And yes, I took my meds and some vitamin D.) I emailed my therapist. I looked for an earlier appointment, but the earliest that I could get one was two days before the one that was already scheduled. I'm debating contacting my psychiatrist.

Emailed the trust asking for a contact for my tax forms and what about my money? Radio silence thus far. Maybe I could do the administrative work on my taxes, but that won't take long. And gather my other forms.

Emailed in sick and napped. I had to eject Oliver and his ball. Bella saw some small dogs outside and clearly wanted to play with them. Progress. Forced myself into the shower. Logged into work. My next challenge will be to get myself to go to choir. All I want to do is sleep.

Oliver brought his ball upstairs! Apparently, he loves it.

I emailed out of choir. The struggle will be to feed the pets before I collapse, but I should do it. I need to snap out of this tomorrow because I'm taking a day off to rake. (I think that I will cancel Italian though.)

I contacted Schwab because I’m fed up with the trust.

Headache.

Fed us all. Tried to nap but couldn't sleep, which is a good sign. I received my tax form, so now I can do my taxes. Did most of my taxes. But aaaaaaah, I have a tax issue with the trust. Last year, I was told that my distributions were taxable. This year, I was told that there was "No reportable income" on my Schedule K-1. One of them must be wrong. So no, I can't finish my taxes now.

I'm going to pay some bills and go to bed.

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Oliver is snoozing upstairs. I ate a turnover and got Bella’s and Lily’s rapt attention. Lily has a favorite spot in the front window where she can see Bella and I come in.

I know. The pet-sitter-to-be can get water from the quarantine tank for the main aquarium. That would work.

Got up a little after 6 AM. Took Bella out and put the cat dishes on to soak. I’m going back to sleep and will take a shower at lunchtime. Overslept but made it to work.

Oliver and Lily seem to be playing Hide and Go Seek. Now they're wrestling. And galloping around upstairs. I found my work laptop knocked over when I came upstairs. Apparently, they play during the night. I hear them upstairs.

The trust people said that I would have my tax form ready when I got back. Now she says that she doesn't handle taxes, but she can see if the form is ready. They are annoying me.

Headache.

Fed the beasts. Oliver was being a jerk and kept eating Lily's food, even though he had food. The cats have settled down. Lily is looking out Mimi's window. Now she's crashed out cold by the front window.

Showered during lunch, attended by Bella and Oliver. Bella chewed a hole in my sock. Oliver was meowing.

I need to order canned dog food from Costco.

Bella had an appointment for booster shots, and she was a very good girl. She has figured out that when I ask her to go into the car, we're going from place to place, but I'm not giving her away, so she'll jump right in. She peed a little at the vet but otherwise was very good. I told her that after she gets dog training, I'll take her in the car to the dog park. They have a special place for more timid dogs. Also, she seems to like collars better than harnesses. Good to know.

I am not looking forward to explaining what happened with my cruise at choir. Well, some people didn’t know what to say, so I added, “But my other cats and dog were glad to see me “. Rehearsal itself went well. Bella was thrilled that I came home :)

I need to feed the beasties, take Bella out one more time, and crash hard because I have Italian tomorrow morning. I’m not looking forward to explaining what happened to my teacher too :(

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I don’t have the heart to take away Mimi’s chair from upstairs, but I want one in the library. I found a used chair on Facebook Marketplace that I like. The question is whether I could fit it in the car.

I came into the bedroom to see Bella on the new bed!

bella_bed.jpg

I’m working on getting Bella to stop bugging Oliver so much. I got her to walk away from him three times. She got pets and a treat. It’s a start.

Bella grabbed a fortune from a fortune cookie off of the table. She makes me laugh.

Woke up at 8:30 AM. It's a pajama day today, although I have a piano lesson tonight, so I'll have to make myself presentable for it.

Oliver got out again this morning, but I grabbed him. I guess that I need to shut him in the bathroom when I go out with Bella.

I decided that I would like plants upstairs, but there isn't a lot of light. I found a folding shelf with grow lights that might work.

My doctor's appointment tomorrow is in Danville, about 30 minutes away from here. I'm taking the morning as sick time because of the extra drive time.

Ugh. Our libraries are discussing how to deal with ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) agents. I hate that this is an issue.

Mimi didn't finish her wet food last night, but she polished off her dry food. If that's what she wants, she can have it. I have a ton of it because I accidentally got two bags of senior formula, thinking that one was adult formula for Oliver and Lily.

I keep forgetting to look for Bella’s ball outside. I looked, but so far, I haven't found it.

I'm mulling over putting a rose garden in at the side of the house. I originally wanted to put my vegetable garden there, but I think that there are gas and power lines underground there. (I'll call to check.) But I could plant roses on either side of the area there, and maybe put in a path? And a bench? Though a wildflower garden would be simpler. Or maybe put in a raised box.

I'm getting a bad sinus headache.

I've been gathering the forms that I need for taxes. Some of them won't be ready until the 31st though, so I guess that I'll write the trust about taxes on the weekend.

I think that I'll get will and trust books/software. I probably will have a professional look it over, but I can take a cut at it and think about the decisions that I'll need to make.

Hmm, I think that I found a niche for a book or garden shop: pet-friendly garden designs. I did find one book (used) on Amazon. Coneflowers are safe for pets, so I might work with them for my side garden. And Western Wheatgrass. Or maybe just wildflowers.

Had my piano lesson. I said that I liked playing songs that I knew how to sing, which led to the song "Danny Boy," which is so pretty. She dug up music for it and I'll work on it.

It got kind of late to get the recycling out, so I'll get up early to gather it. I need to feed the hordes' last meal of the night, and then I'll go to sleep. I have my doctor's appointment in the morning, so I can leave a little later.

Oh hell, there was a midair collision between a passenger jet and helicopter in Washington DC. There are divers looking for the plane in the Potomac River. This doesn't look good.

Poor Mimi

Jan. 27th, 2025 10:35 pm
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Fed everyone. Ordered some more plants for my aquarium. Found my old music.

Took Mimi to the vet. The poor girl has lost four pounds. They're doing blood work on her and will contact me tomorrow. They also gave me an appetite enhancer. They also suggested getting Feliway.

l spilled water on my work computer keyboard, and need to get a new one. I'm trying to decide what else to get to make a full order from Walmart. Okay, I ordered more cat food for Oliver and Lily.

Ye gods, I'm tired. Will I make it through choir practice tonight?

I'm going to have to take the water out of the fish tank to level it.

Went to choir practice. We had some new people join. I was worrying about Bella because she has separation anxiety plus was unable to go out for three hours. But she did fine.

Damn, I’m tired. I intended to get some tax stuff together, but I'm beat.

Tired Day

Apr. 16th, 2024 12:43 am
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I'm looking for a suitcase that's more durable than mine. I'm looking at Roam suitcases but sheesh, expensive. I'll shop around. I like this suitcase. It's a soft side, but maybe soft-sided suitcases last longer?

Zara’s food dish is missing. I walked all over, but couldn’t find it. What do they do with them?

I woke up before my alarm, but I'm so sleepy this morning. The drive takes it out of me. I snuck off to lie on the futon for a few minutes.

Mimi is lying in a sunbeam :)

Allerton has a peony garden that I'd like to check out.

I'm looking at pear trees. I wonder if the birds eat pears? Or maybe an apple tree?

I’m getting head bonks from Zara. I believe that I was missed.

Shit. I can't find my car keys. I had them last night.

More crap. I owe taxes on the trust distributions for Mom's house.

Found my car keys. They were in the bunched up sleeve of my coat. And I took my spare key off of the key chain. (Yes, I know keeping the key and the spare key in the same place isn't smart.)

It's hot upstairs. I need to buy a fan (done).

I’m napping again after work. I way overslept my nap. I'm going to go back to bed and get up early to do homework.

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Zara was scratching at the door when I finished my shower. I opened the door and said that I had fuzzy tyrants. I fed them, so they are appeased.

Damn, I'm tired. I think that I'll lie down during lunch and leave for errands late this afternoon and log onto work later.

Forgot to mention that I have one of the books in a Time Life Gardening Series. I looked for more on eBay and ordered a couple more of them. I'm excited about one for shade gardening because the north side of the house is in shade.

My high school friend Anne sent me some seeds for my garden. That was really nice. I'll have to thank her. Maybe I'll put them where I want to plant irises in the fall.

I looked at paving stones for paths, but I might just put in gravel. But paths are the last thing that I'll do for the yard. I have years of work on it!

Yikes. Freeze warning tonight. I'll pull the chives back up on the porch and cover them. They can handle freezing temperatures though.

Zara wanted more food at lunchtime. I exist to serve. She’s been going under the bed a lot though.

I think that I'll have to wait until fall for swimming lessons because of the Italy trip this summer.

Damn. I'm feeling too tired to run errands today at all. I could go tomorrow if I get going at a decent hour. I doubt that I'll get the lawn raked tomorrow.

The missing tax form was because the money market account earned less than $10 in interest according to the bank. So the tax guy should have all the forms.

In other exciting news, Zara wants food and is making it hard to type :) She had already had food, which Mimi promptly ate.

I've started watering the plants to prepare for my trip.

Crashed out good and proper after work and overslept my nap. I’m thinking of going back to sleep so that I will get up early.

I got my gardening books. I pulled out a book on Dahlias, a book on Peonies, and Perennial Combinations, a book about plants that go well together. The rest are about vegetable gardening and home repair.

I covered the chives in bubble wrap for the freeze tonight.

I've got the batteries for the mower charging, although I doubt that I'll get to mow the lawn tomorrow.

Here's the current status of the salad greens in the Aerogarden. They'll be huge by the time that I get back!

Looong Day

Apr. 4th, 2024 10:06 pm
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I got up early to study, but I'm really tired. I got my recycling bin out on the street.

I took my test, but I had problems connecting to Zoom with my phone for proctoring, so I started late. I think that I did something stupid too. Oh well. Ālea iacta est. I feel like crying though, but I think that I forgot to take my meds this morning. I think that I need a nap.

And it's raining again. I might not get the lawn raked and mowed before I go. I don't think that I can run errands either. I'll go at lunchtime tomorrow. Hmm, it did stop raining, but I still think that I need to lie down.

The psychiatrist's office said that they have been trying to get in touch with me, but I haven't received a call. The office was in Danville, which is about a half-hour away, but they're going to try to get it switched to Urbana. Okay, this is weird.

I still haven't heard anything about my taxes. Bloody hell. Okay, the tax guy just called me, and I'm sending him documents tonight.

I read an article in the Washington Post about float therapy. It might be worth a try. The closest place offering it is in Decatur.

Tried to nap but couldn’t sleep.

Got my clothes in the dryer and did some dishes. Took my nighttime meds early to wind down. Now I'm working, and then I'll deal with taxes. I sent the tax docs, and someone will start on it tomorrow. I'm missing a form, though, so we'll have to file an extension.

Okay, I need to feed the beasties (Zara is telling me that she's hungry), look at an assignment, and go to bed.

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I keep looking at the kitchen, which looks lovely.

Before and after )

I’m looking at pegboard to organize my tools. I need to clear out the room in the basement though. The organization in the bathroom is paying off. I need a way to organize shoes in there because I keep the shoes that I wear the most in there.

Mimi is rubbing against the railings on the stairs. “I claim this in the name of cat.” There is a cat head sticking out meowing at me. She also filed herself in my "to file" basket. Goof.

Where can I grow blueberries in the yard?

I need to pick up some catnip at PetSmart on the weekend. I’m my cats’ dealer :) There was something that I needed to get at Lowe’s, but I don’t remember what. I remember; I need to get a plug for the bathtub. And bubble bath or a bath bomb. And I need to drop donations at Goodwill and go to the storage unit. And go to the UPS Store for Amazon returns and shredding. And Comcast to return the router. I need to make a list.

I got on Nextdoor for my neighborhood. Someone was advertising yard work, but I think that I should save money and do it myself. But I also was wondering if I could get a housekeeper to clean the kitchen and the bathrooms, so I don’t know. I’m a little tight on cash right now, which is affecting my perception.

I talked to the trust. They can have my taxes prepared for me for $300 from the trust, which I decided to do. They're connecting me with a tax specialist.

I can rent a tiller from Home Depot for $46 per day. I think that I'll put in my vegetable garden myself and pretty it up later. Actually, Gardener's Supply sells edging. Sweat equity :) I also checked how much a sprinkler system would cost. Probably not any time soon. I also found out that you can rent an aerator from Home Depot! That's the way to go for the lawn!

Today I got a plethora of Amazon boxes. I agreed that they all could arrive the same day, but I thought that would reduce the number of boxes. Nope. I got cat toys (I left them in Michigan and kicked myself because they weren’t cheap), a colander (I’m all about pasta), a tea kettle that I’m going to return because they got mine clean, command hooks to hang the “Please don’t let the cats out” sign, a level for hanging pictures, more picture-hanging hardware, and a toothbrush holder. And I’m probably forgetting something.

Because the cats are sleeping, I think that I’ll take my nap now and process a clothes bag later. I also need to process my long list of Amazon returns and flatten boxes.

The estate sale people said that they did $7500 in sales today, and it isn’t even the weekend yet! Awesome!

Oops, Zara is up and wants food (done).

Tried to nap but just dozed lightly. I decided that I was hungry. Just as well because I need to go get some tape for my returns. Hmm, but I want to go to bed early. Meijer opens at 6 AM, so I could go get tape in the morning. Lowe’s is open early too.

I’m pondering where to put old towels that I use as rags.

I ordered a set of bath bombs for slightly more than one costs at Bath and Body Works on Amazon. So I’ll have some nice baths to come.

Well heck. If I want early crops like lettuce and peas, I’d need to plant them around the end of the month. I’m not going to have the garden set up by then. I could grow green beans in the summer.

I'm going to go to sleep. After I finish petting Mimi, who has decided that when I sit down at a computer, it's petting time.

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I woke up at 6:30 AM. Fed the cats and myself.

I gave up on a book which seemed to be a bad ripoff of The Lymond Chronicles, and started reading Kara Swisher’s book about the tech industry, which is much more lively. She is the same age as I am and was an early adopter of the internet.

Had a brief nap.

It just occurred to me that because I’m a grad student, I might already have access to the gym. I need to check. Okay, it looks like I didn't pay any fees, so no. It's closed during Spring Break this week.

I’m thinking about what to do today. Work on decluttering and organizing my clothes. Go for a walk. And start on taxes.

I got the filing cabinet, but I have to wait until Thursday for the assembler to get here.

I have a headache, so I’m lying down again.

Ugh. One of my Amazon items says that it was delivered, but it’s not in the box. I asked for a replacement.

I'm looking at bookcases. I'm wondering when I should order them. I won't be able to put them up until after I go through boxes, but I'll need them up in order to empty boxes. A conundrum.

I ordered a kitchen garbage can with compartments for both trash and recycling.

I’m feeling really tired, so I think that I’ll work on taxes. Well, crud. My printer isn't working on my personal laptop, and Comerica Bank said that they would send out statements on March 15th. That seems a little late. I might get started on the taxes anyway and just not submit them. Well, I got stymied on the question about making money in another state. I inherited my mom's bank account. I just emailed the trust about it. I guess that I'll go organize clothes then. Well, I took a nap.

Zara came over to say “Hi”. She still is enamored of the puffy comforter. She is proving that cats sleep 20 of 24 hours.

In the warm bathroom, I put up the shower curtain liner and the shower curtain with elephants that I got for my mom. I transferred my shower stuff so that I can shower in the warm bathroom. I bought some gray towels to go with the elephants.

I’m not feeling like tackling anything major. Maybe I could work on organizing the cabinet in the cold bathroom. No, I started laundry and got on chat with HP about the printer issues. The rep was annoying, but he fixed my problem.

I'm going to hang clothes up to dry and go to bed.

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I forgot to mention that I got another heart-attack inducing letter from the IRS. It said that I owe...$27.86. I can actually afford that :) Just paid.

Okay, I cleaned out the car and flipped the back seats down. I didn’t brush snow off of the car because it’s still snowing.

I had to really think about what day of the week it is. I’m totally confused.

The power snow shovel was in limbo somewhere in transit, so I ordered the really expensive one, which is available now, and canceled the first one. All I can say is that it better work well! I'll pick it up tonight.

...And now they're saying ONE inch of snow tomorrow night and rain during the day. I'll be ready for anything, I think. It'll be good to have the shovel down there.

Hmm. Maybe I should try to get back on Saturday because it'll be a high of 5F on Sunday. But I'd get a late start because of the Internet guy. Oh, I don't know. And will the rain freeze? I'll play it by ear on Saturday.

I attended a webinar on goal setting. During it, I realized that what I want and need to do is start walking to get in shape for my Italy trip. Losing weight is secondary (although the weight that I have lost is helping me walk and I get less backaches).

I forgot to order oatmeal, but I don't really want to park at Meijer or Kroger with the power snow shovel in the car, so I placed a delivery order for tomorrow morning before I leave.

I don't know why I'm so cranky tonight. I drove to Lowe's and got a non-power shovel and the keys cut. I was going out to the car and a car cut right in front of me. I called him an asshole and said that "I always let people cross" in a totally smug tone. Then I went to curbside pickup and got the power snow shovel, which they brought. Then I went home. The postal delivery person stuck a book in the mailbox that I was having problems getting out. I finally had to take everything else out of the box and rotate it vertically to get it out. There was something else that annoyed me, but I don't remember what it was, which says something about how trivial it was.

But things are working out. I have the power snow shovel, although I spent more money on it than I intended but I've got one. I have DVDs to bring; apparently one of the packages was the Smothers Brothers DVDs. I think that I need a slice of cake (I'm canning my diet until I move) and some snuggles with Mimi. Oh, and I didn't start laundry today (got busy at work), so I need to start it before cake and Mimi.

The strawberry shortcake is heaven on a fork. Snuggled with Mimi.

The new down jacket is very nice. It’s Ralph Lauren, not that I’m into designers, but I like it.

I got Martha Stewart’s Organizing. She’s a little TOO organized, but I got some ideas just flipping through it. And the Pottery Barn’s organizing book was the one that got stuck in the mailbox.

DVDs that I’m bringing: The Smothers Brothers, a Great Courses course on photography, and two dog-related DVDs (The Dog Whisperer and People Training). And I didn’t need the portable DVD/CD sleeves that I ordered to come tomorrow morning.

I’m going to have to play Tetris with the car. I put food-related stuff in a bin. I have the power snow blower. My suitcase, backpack, and work bag (in case I get snowed in, but that doesn’t look likely). My basket with the DVDs and odds and ends. The organizer that goes above the toilet. (I’ll leave that if space requires it.) And the paint.

I think that I’ll post this and then my clothes should be dry.

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I did a massive amount of cleaning. I want to get up early and do more.

I found a missing library book.

I filed for a tax extension.

Amazing how a deadline focuses the mind.

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