Mar. 18th, 2014

days_unfolding: (flower opening)
I've really hit a wall with this idiot depression. The light box doesn't seem to be doing a damn thing anymore, although I'm still using it. I'm having one hell of a time concentrating at work and doing homework; I'm handing stuff in late at school; I'm trying to get to sleep earlier, but still having problems getting out of bed. Tonight, I didn't want to eat or do anything except curl up in a ball (but I ate anyway and plan to finish my homework so it'll be off my back). Something's got to give.

What I want is for someone to talk to me and tell my psychiatrist that yes, I am depressed and need to be treated. Some things that I have thought of are as follows:

1) Find out if there is some sort of ombudsman associated with Memorial Hospital (the clinic is associated with Memorial), and send them a letter detailing why I think that I need to be treated. (This is probably the fastest approach.)

2) Try to talk to a psychologist about my symptoms and have him or her contact my doctor. (I suspect that there probably is a long (3 -4 months?) wait time for psychologists as well. A psychologist probably won't want to see me only once, but my insurance company is charging me $65 per office visit. That would add up quickly if he or she wants to see me once a week. I can't afford it.)

3) See if there is some sort of Employee Assistance Plan at the college and talk to them. (However, they're really set up for short-term problems. OTOH, if I can get my psychiatrist to treat me, I'll be on my way....)

4) Find another psychiatrist. (I haven't found one in BloNo that is taking new patients yet.)

Any other thoughts?

The good news is that I have an $800 windfall from being doubly charged when I was in the hospital last year. I don't want to spend all of it (it should defray the "startup" costs of the garden), but I would like to get Zara a tall cat tree so that I can unpack the boxes that she likes to jump on. I also want to replace my ancient TV with a 20- or 22-inch model and a Roku box so that I have something to watch when I cancel cable.

* "I was much further out than you thought/And not waving but drowning." -- Stevie Smith, "Not Waving But Drowning"
days_unfolding: (flower opening)
Last weekend, I told my mom that I "visited" the vegetables in the grocery store. I didn't buy any, but I looked at them. The asparagus looked particularly good, but I had no recipes for it.

Tonight, I was looking at my e-mail, and saw a coupon for 20 percent off asparagus, along with some recipes using it. Now I just need the time to cook....This weekend, I'm taking Harlee to the vet on Saturday and driving down to Lincoln to talk to one of the part-timers on Sunday.

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