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Hitting the Wall
Oct. 5th, 2016 01:37 amMy mom left me a message saying that her surgery went well, and she is "fine". She had laproscopic surgery, so that should help her recovery time. I didn't call her back in case she was sleeping. She's supposed to get home tomorrow, and I'll call her then.
Nonetheless, I've been feeling stressed and weepy today. Part of the problem is that I ran out of one of my meds. After calling the doctor about it, I found that the mail-order pharmacy had shipped it to me, and the package had fallen behind a chair, so at least that's taken care of. The feeling has been weird though; I'd be thinking about and working on something different, but my eyes would be tearing. I snapped at a part-time worker who came in late, even though I wasn't really mad at her. Strange.
Part of the issue is that my mom's multiple myeloma has gotten worse. I don't think that I have written about that. I had gotten the idea from talking to my mom that it can be a precursor to cancer, but from doing a lot of research tonight, it is a form of blood cancer. After my research, now I understand what's going on with her and why her doctor wants to treat it aggressively. She's unhappy, though, because the illness is tiring her out (except when she gets a blood transfusion), and one of the new meds has to be injected weekly. She had planned to go to Europe with a friend next year, but he's the type of person who has every minute scheduled, which isn't going to work for her. I'd like to travel with her, and could play things more loosely, but I don't have the money right now anyway. I'm more concerned that her illness makes her more susceptible to infection (which might have contributed to the appendicitis) and also makes her bones more fragile. My mom's place is a perfect example of a place NOT to live if you have weak bones. Hell, I fell down the stairs once when I lived there. But I'm sure that she would resist changes to the house.
She also had "changes" in one of her chest x-rays. It could be an infection, or it could be something more serious. They did an MRI, but don't have the results back yet.
I don't want to burden my mom with my feelings about this, but I'm starting to get overwhelmed. I think that I'll see if my health insurance would cover a few visits to a therapist. I might have to go out of town, though, which would be problematic. I also really should get my act together and go to the Unitarian Church in Bloomington or Springfield. (I know I keep saying that, but never do it.) Being with people of like mind and who probably are grappling with similar issues would help.
Writing this out helped too.
Nonetheless, I've been feeling stressed and weepy today. Part of the problem is that I ran out of one of my meds. After calling the doctor about it, I found that the mail-order pharmacy had shipped it to me, and the package had fallen behind a chair, so at least that's taken care of. The feeling has been weird though; I'd be thinking about and working on something different, but my eyes would be tearing. I snapped at a part-time worker who came in late, even though I wasn't really mad at her. Strange.
Part of the issue is that my mom's multiple myeloma has gotten worse. I don't think that I have written about that. I had gotten the idea from talking to my mom that it can be a precursor to cancer, but from doing a lot of research tonight, it is a form of blood cancer. After my research, now I understand what's going on with her and why her doctor wants to treat it aggressively. She's unhappy, though, because the illness is tiring her out (except when she gets a blood transfusion), and one of the new meds has to be injected weekly. She had planned to go to Europe with a friend next year, but he's the type of person who has every minute scheduled, which isn't going to work for her. I'd like to travel with her, and could play things more loosely, but I don't have the money right now anyway. I'm more concerned that her illness makes her more susceptible to infection (which might have contributed to the appendicitis) and also makes her bones more fragile. My mom's place is a perfect example of a place NOT to live if you have weak bones. Hell, I fell down the stairs once when I lived there. But I'm sure that she would resist changes to the house.
She also had "changes" in one of her chest x-rays. It could be an infection, or it could be something more serious. They did an MRI, but don't have the results back yet.
I don't want to burden my mom with my feelings about this, but I'm starting to get overwhelmed. I think that I'll see if my health insurance would cover a few visits to a therapist. I might have to go out of town, though, which would be problematic. I also really should get my act together and go to the Unitarian Church in Bloomington or Springfield. (I know I keep saying that, but never do it.) Being with people of like mind and who probably are grappling with similar issues would help.
Writing this out helped too.
