days_unfolding

Mimi was having problems jumping on my lap, so I picked her up. Surprisingly, she didn’t mind.

I found a recipe for a mixed berry smoothie. They suggest adding 1/2 a frozen banana to it, so I need to pick up some bananas and freeze them.

Ow. My right arm was hurting when I pulled up the comforter. Don’t know what’s up with that. Getting older is the pits!

I signed up for BlueSky: adriennerad.bsky.social.

Ugh. I woke up at 7, decided that I'll take my shower at lunchtime, and went back to sleep for a little while. And overslept. So much for getting the recycling out.

Holy cow. 7.0 earthquake in Northern (way Northern) California. I hope that people are okay. The "pretty big one," the Loma Prieta Quake that I experienced, was a 6.9 or 7.0. Personally, I don't want to experience a quake again over 5.5. Funny, a person that CNN interviewed said that he got "seasick" because of the quake. I described the movement of the cruise ship as "being like an earthquake".

My dad is annoying me. I had sent him an email saying that I wanted to take a Panama Canal tour in a couple of years. He sent a response that the most important things are 1) finding a life partner and 2) getting your financial house in order. He said that travel, while satisfying, was less important than 1 and 2.

Well, I’m not certain that I want a life partner (most men remarry after a divorce, but women are more dubious), although I’d like to date, and that was the reason I was losing weight, although I’ve fallen off that wagon. Plus, I need to declutter my house, both to make it look nice for dating and also I don’t want to leave as much of a mess as Mom did.

As for finances, I have retirement money. And I’m working to get a pension from the uni. (Honestly, that’s the thing that is keeping me from retiring right now.) I’m working on getting the rest of my finances in order.

As for travel, I know that there will always be “one more place,” but when I die, if I haven’t been to a majority of the places to which I want to go, I will be pissed. Plus, I belong to a Facebook group of retired women, and they consistently say, travel while you can. I’m aware that my traveling time has a limit. And it makes sense to me to travel as much as I can while I'm still working. And I'm consciously doing the things that are important to me: travel, singing, piano, and Italian.

My therapist agreed that I need to live my life my way. She thought that my dad was out of line and doesn't know how to parent an adult child.

I’m waiting to cool down before responding.

Had my piano lesson. She commented that I had did a lot of work on my recital piece. In fact, I had played it so much before the lesson and at the lesson that I got really tired and stopped being able to play. That never has happened before. And I never have been so aware of my ability to concentrate as a limiting factor.

I'm need to go to bed early because I need to get up on time and take a shower and put on my makeup because we will be introducing ourselves to the governance board at work. I know I keep saying that but staying up late, but I need to stick to it this time. Posting is a start.

Woke up at 6:30 AM. Much better. Ran an errand before work.

The ceiling fan in my bedroom doesn't work. I need to get it fixed. Hmm, Home Depot has a video on how to install a ceiling fan, and it doesn't look too hard.

LanguaTalk says that it can send a reminder to study, but I haven't figured out how yet. Okay, I figured it out. I also found an Italian teacher if the one that Mimmo mentioned falls through.

I always thought that my colleagues were prepared for presentations way in advance. Instead, we're updating them to almost the last minute :)

Hmm. The "student farm" at the uni has a recipe for snap peas that sounds pretty good, but I'd need to get some fresh thyme. (Mine bit the dust). Hmm, Walmart has a thyme plant.

I think that I want to go to Meijer and get more Pineapple-Raspberry Sparkling Water crack. It's so good!

Napped during lunch. Zara was fussing over me.

I had meetings all afternoon, but our presentation went well.

I had my therapy session. I wanted to talk about my crush on Mimmo, but she didn't seem too interested. I did say that Italian men seemed to find me attractive, and she said that you might as well wallow in it. We talked about how things are going with school (nonexistent) and my Mom's house (???). I need to get in touch with the real estate guy and find out what's going on.

I am boiling again. Mimi wants to snuggle, but I told her that it was too hot. I'm putting an ice-cold water bottle down my shirt. It's 91F/33C.

I'm looking at Simple Opulence Linen Sheets to keep cool. I'm wondering if I should get a neck fan too.

I'm looking into Independence Day activities in Urbana. The fireworks display is on the 6th.

I got my tiny backpack and like it.

I’m downstairs trying to cool off. Zara is lounging near me.

I'm looking at a book and cards of weight-training exercises.

Tried to sleep but couldn’t. I think that I’m getting back to normal. But I want to go to sleep early and get up early when it’s cool. I think that I want to take a cool shower before I go to sleep.

Got the duplicate title form filled out and ready to mail after yoga.

I found a cool outfit for Italy. It’s a cream blazer with a blue and white top. I just ordered some navy dress pants to go with it. It’ll probably be what I wear to the Vatican. (They have a dress code.)

I asked my dad’s wife Sue if he was okay because he’s not acting like himself, and she said that they’re both sick with something that sounds like COVID, but she took a test that was negative. She said that he didn’t sleep last night and couldn’t remember anything that she told him. That explains a lot. He sent a more coherent email today.

Had my session with the life coach. We agreed that I will take three months off and then see if I want more sessions. I also have two extra sessions paid for if I need a “tuneup”. She wants me to send her pictures of my Italy trip.

My presentation at work went okay.

Talked to Amtrak. It looks like I won’t be able to take the new suitcase as a carryon because it’s a little too big and I won’t be able to check luggage to Minneapolis. I fixed the zipper on my old suitcase and will take that. I need to take yoga pants so that I can wash them out and wear them again. Oh, I can park at the train station.

By the way, I love the new suitcase. It’s gorgeous. I want to get a matching carryon eventually.

Went to yoga. Hardly anyone was there. We were doing a leg lift and arm lift when I had a sharp pain in my knee. I said “Ouch” loudly and the teacher asked if I was okay. I sat there for a while. Then we were moving our bent legs for side to side, which is usually easy, so I tried it, but my knee said, “No way!” I then quietly packed up my stuff and told the teacher that I needed to leave. I ran the duplicate title form over to the post office. (Driving kind of hurt.) Now I’m back and I took acetaminophen and will lie down for a little while after I eat.

My therapist emailed me back and said that she’s glad that I’m safe (I missed our session yesterday) and to enjoy my Italy trip. I’m glad that she responded.

I'm going through a hassle with Pacsafe, who made my travel backpack. I can't get one of the locking zippers open. I did get the main compartment open at least. I need to take it to Michigan with me.

Took a nap and slept until 4:30 AM. Fuck. I have homework to get done. I think that I'll call in sick which is not a lie because I'm feeling dizzy.

I was looking into massage therapy places near my mom's house. I should schedule a massage for mid-December.

I fell asleep with my clothes on again. So tired. Woke up at 5 AM.

I bought a new scale because my old one was giving wacky readings. I also bought a "sweater blazer" that I had been eyeing at Land's End for 50% off. Can't have too many blazers!

I took a nap and woke up again at 7:30 and got up. Now I'm working, but cool, they're letting us leave at 2 today.

Mom is on my mind today. It will be my first Thanksgiving without her, but we usually didn't spend Thanksgiving together anyway. Christmas will be harder. I had thought of watching Home for the Holidays, which takes place during Thanksgiving, when I get back to Michigan, but I'm sure that's one of the DVDs I chose to keep. Mom loved that movie. When the two sisters are fighting, it reminded her so much of her fighting with her sister that she kept on hitting my arm :)

The zipper on the Jeans That I Hate broke. Given that I hate them, no big loss, but I was going to wear them while I did laundry.

I almost forgot that I have a session with the life coach. I don't know what we'll talk about, but she usually thinks of something. We talked about setting dates for my move of my stuff from storage and the move of Mom's stuff that I'm keeping. All the other dates cascade from that. We also discussed my list of people to contact with changed dates.

I DoorDashed a poke bowl and a hot Earl Grey tea with milk and sugar. The tea was quite good. Actually, I'm craving another one. But I just convinced myself not to get one.

The office of my therapist sent me a zillion forms to fill out, which I did. I couldn’t remember Dad’s cell phone number (we usually email), but it was on my phone. I also emailed the therapist and told her that my date for being back in Urbana has moved two to three weeks forward.

Talked to the diet coach. I’m trying to find something to DoorDash that has vegetables but am having no luck.

Took a nap. Ate the rest of my poke bowl.

Ran to Best Buy and picked up an SD card reader. It hit me that I can modify the new house any way that I want, so I looked at Nest thermostats, doorbells, and cams and Ring doorbells and cams. I'm going to have a lot of fun fixing up the place the way that I want it. I need to find a handyman to help me with fixing the place up.

Went to Meijer and picked up soda, oatmeal, and some frozen Shrimp Scampi for later. I'm telling myself that it has spinach and tomatoes in it, so it must be okay :)

Now I'm resting for a minute and then will start laundry. I poked around an interior design site and it said that I liked a "classic" style with clean lines and minimal clutter. The "minimal clutter" will be the hard part!

I just ordered a ton of Kindle books. I ordered Barbra Streisand's autobiography (thank you, shadowkat), and the "you might also like" led me to Anderson Cooper's book about the Astors, which led me to Anderson Cooper's book about the Vanderbilts and a historical novel about one of the Astors. I won't lack for reading material.

Hmm. I can't stop yawning, but I wanted to do laundry tonight, so I started it. (I'm leaving tomorrow.) I suppose that I could start packing my stuff up too.

Hmm. I'm looking at January 8th for moving my stuff from storage to the new house. But when will I have it painted? Should I stay in a hotel in Urbana for the first week of January? And I'm looking at January 15th (if the movers don't have a holiday) for the movers to take my stuff from Michigan. I'd be out of the house by the end of the week. Then the estate sale can happen.

Now I'm wondering if the living room in the new place should be sage green. I have some time to think about it. I'm mulling over slipcovers for my mom's Pottery Barn loveseat and chair. I found one in gray with a kind of greenish tinge that I kind of like. I need to order swatches.

The clothes are in the dryer. The really nice guy who works the front desk in the evening asked me if I wanted some coffee before he put it away. I said "No," but thanked him for asking. He wished me a Happy Thanksgiving, and I told him that I would be driving, and he said that he hoped that I'd get a chance to rest.

Waffle House is on my list for tomorrow. My life coach and I were discussing Waffle House. She lives in Florida, and she said that if Waffle House closes during a hurricane, it's time to worry.

What I didn't tell the life coach is that going through the stuff in the house is my final conversation with my mom. That's why I want to go through stuff. But I was getting stuck and need to get unstuck. I canceled my subsequent sessions with her because she was taking the amount of time that I'm working on the house personally, and I'm trying someone else.

Oops. I forgot to change the rental car to Kauai, but now it's done.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I contacted my therapist to see if she had any openings the morning of my train trip, when I'll be in a hotel in Chicago. (I can't meet with her from here because she isn't licensed to practice in Michigan.) She said yes, she had a cancellation. Excellent.

Did my usual morning routine and took a nap after breakfast. It was storming when I fell asleep. Now the sun is out.

Made a list of the cleaning supplies that I need to get for the cleaner. Ordered them for delivery from Meijer, even though I'm going out, to save time. Tried to order cat litter from Petsmart, but they were out of what I wanted, so I ordered it from Chewy.

Ran errands. Shipped my Daily Look returns. Got some light bulbs for the ceiling fan in my bedroom here. Bought some dental floss. Bought some cut up pineapple and strawberry-kiwi. Mailed the letter to the neighbors.

I bought a travel sun hat on TravelSmith. Also a sun wrap. I'm still planning to take Mom's hat back with me, but this one is made to be packed. And a "cozy plaid tunic".

I don't know how it got so late. I think that it's bedtime.

I started setting up my CPAP so that I'll have it ready for tonight. I'll work with the mask when I get home though. I have a problem in that I don't have a bedside lamp though, so how will I be able to see to put on the mask? The outlet by my bed doesn't work, although there is one right above the bed that works. I bought a long extension cord the other day to use the CPAP at Mom's house.

I had my appointment with my therapist. She gave me some advice about dealing with Mom's confusion. The most important thing that she said is that I won't be able to make her happy, which is what I was wanting to do. She also said that I shouldn't try to take care of her at home. She also said that I should give the cats the run of the house and lie to Mom about it.

I've decided to do homework tonight and get an early start back at the old place tomorrow. I'll need to skip Italian.

I ran into a snag with the CPAP in that it takes only distilled water. I'll get some tomorrow. I'm completely congested, so it might be just as well that I can't use it tonight.

I stayed up stupidly late last night thinking about school and stuff. I took a nap over lunch, but I've been kind of brain dead.

I did make it to yoga. Whenever I do yoga, I think about how much I like it, but the trick is making the time to go to the class (and practice outside of class?) I'd like to take the time to follow some of the Adriene yoga videos on my non-class days. My therapist thinks that my stress levels are off the charts, and she thinks that yoga would really help.

There is another yoga studio that has classes on Saturdays for people over 50, but I don't want to start something right before I go to Michigan. Plus those classes are right after my therapy session, but we could probably reschedule the session.

I think that I should find a yoga studio near my mom's house to pick up some lessons while I'm there. I emailed a gym by my mom's house, to which I have access from my health plan, to see if I could take some yoga classes there. I can swim there, so that at least would be relaxing. I need to bring my swim bag with me.

I should probably start a meditation practice again, but I feel like I can't deal with one more thing.

I got my homework done and did pretty well on it. Go me and all that.

I'm having a bitch of a time finding a house cleaner. I just messaged someone else with an actual business, so I'm hoping that they'll do it.

I'm tired. I'm thinking about going to sleep and getting up early. I need to hose down litter boxes outside, but that would be easier after it gets light. Oh yeah, I need to finish up and mail the passport renewal too.

I found the hotel at which I want to stay in Miami's South Beach. The question is how early I should book for Spring Break. That's a peak time for Florida.

I forgot to mention that I told my therapist that I told a colleague/friend that I had a therapy appointment and that I was going to dump my baggage from the Chicago trip, and my therapist said, "Just call me your porter!" I'm glad that I found this therapist. We click well.

Mom called with the info to order her an Uber for tomorrow. And she wants me to be awake at the time that the Uber is supposed to get there; so much for sleeping in. She had an issue with the billing for her prescriptions, but that got straightened out. She's wondering how to turn her driver's license over to the Secretary of State's office without a car.

Note to self: Potential move date is the week of December 19th.

Took a nap and slept through until morning. I set my alarm in case there was an issue with Mom's Uber, but she was already on route when I logged into Uber.

Another kind of overcast day, but that's good. It'll keep the heat down. I opened the window in my home office to get some cool air in.

Zara ate her breakfast. Good.

I'm trying to get mower guy to mow my lawn, but so far, no luck.

I talked to the potential therapist, and she didn't think that it was a great match, but she suggested another therapist in the practice. But! She also suggested another Web site in which to look for a therapist, and I found someone who might work. The search continues....The new therapist contacted me right away. That's a good sign. Oh fab, she's Blue Cross Blue Shield Tier 1, so it should have a lower copay.

Zara's eating her dinner too. It must have been the heat the other day that was affecting her appetite. Can't say as I blame her.

Holy cow. I just spent 1.5 hours filling out the intake forms for the therapist. It's the most thorough one that I've encountered yet. I requested an appointment for Wednesday. She has evening appointments, which I like. I hope that this works out. The therapist said that she didn't have experience with schizoaffective disorder, but I don't want to talk about it, so I hope that she'll work with me anyway.

Spent some time snuggling with Zara. Love my girl.

I got the Mental Health pack from StruggleCare.com. The "How to Clean Your Depression House" booklet gave some great ideas for cleaning supplies, so I got them from Amazon. And it gave some good suggestions, like cleaning crumbs off the stove with a hand-held vacuum cleaner. It also had some questions to ask when you look for a therapist, so I'll use them when I talk to the possible therapist.

Got up, had breakfast, and had a nice nap. Had lunch. The StruggleCare.com handouts had a to-do list that breaks big tasks down into little tasks, so I wrote some out. Knocked two mini-tasks off my list already. Zara: Mommy, aren't your forgetting something IMPORTANT? Fed the girls.

Damn, it's hot when I move. Weather.com says that it's only 81F though.

Got the garbage out. Started laundry. Ordered some biodegradable garbage and pet poop bags because I'm running out of garbage bags. Went to turn on the bread maker, but it got stuck in a setting, so I'm waiting for it to clear. I don't think that I'll be able to make bread until tomorrow. I also want to make banana-walnut bread in the bread maker because I have three overripe bananas, but it requires buttermilk, so I ordered some buttermilk powder from Amazon. Everything is complicated.

Dawn Powerwash (suggested by StruggleCare.com) does make a really good cleaner as well as dish soap.

Made the spinach salad. Made biscuits and gravy and ate them. I'm doing more dishes, and then I'll do my other nighttime tasks and go to sleep.